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How to make your Application Essays Stand Out
- Leslie Alfaro
- Jul 6, 2022
- 8 min read
Updated: Jul 6, 2022
What we will cover:
The Basics: What is a Personal Statement?
How to structure your essays
Example Essays + Analysis
How to get your creativity flowing
How to save time and energy when it comes to writing
Most common mistakes to avoid
How to get someone to revise your essays
So you decided to get a head start on writing your application essays. Good for you; you've decided now is a great time to craft masterpieces that'll get you into college. If you were anything like me, you're probably asking yourself: what now?
Before you go and write countless essays so you can later find out you're not doing your best work, let me share with you what I learned from writing personal statements for three years.
The Basics: What is a Personal Statement?
A personal statement is something many of us haven't been introduced to yet, so here's a brief overview of what it is and how it differs from the essays you write at school.
Essentially, a personal statement is a short story about you. Its purpose is not only to tell the reader something you experienced in your life but also how it made you who you are. You can mention anything from taking care of your sibling(s) to when you experienced a life or death situation. You can write about practically anything, but make sure you elaborate on how you grew and what you learned from it.
Unlike an academic essay, you don't need to format it in a specific way, meaning that you don't need a thesis at the beginning, five body paragraphs, a conclusion at the end, etc. This is the beauty of personal statements: you can personalize every aspect f your essay.
Although this can sound exciting for others, this element of freedom may make someone nervous. All emotions are valid. Undoubtedly, everyone will find their writing style with enough brainstorming and practice.
How to Structure your Essays
As mentioned above, there isn't a required structure to follow, but there is one I recommend: Narrative Structure. It goes something like this:
Challenges + Effects
What I Did About Them
What I Learned
Here's a breakdown taken from CollegeEssayGuy's website:
Challenges + Effects
This part gets into specific detail regarding a specific challenge the student has faced, and the various effects of that challenge. Tough stuff you’ve been through. Big experiences. Their subsequent impacts. Various obstacles you’ve had to overcome.
What I Did About Them
Actions you took to overcome those challenges and their effects, often to meet specific needs. These actions help to illustrate your values and growth.
What I Learned
Lessons and insights you’ve gained through these experiences. Reflection on how your experiences have shaped you and why that matters.
Why do I recommend Narrative Structure? Simple: Stories capture attention. When you begin an essay when you are at a climax of a problem, it leaves the reader wondering how the story got to that point, so they keep reading. This is what we want because the more they keep reading, the more they learn about you and can end up being fond of you.
He also has an example essay following this structure on his post. Here is the link in case you're interested:
Example Essay + Analysis
In the previous section, you learned about Narrative structure. Now it's time for you to see what it looks like.
Disclaimer: I will not be showing the entire essay to prevent people from plagiarizing.
I always wanted to be a superhero - I wanted to fly and use my powers for good. As I grew, though, I realized I was already one. For, like Wonder Woman and Superman, I lead a double life.
During the day, I follow a routine filled with homework and club duties. Once I come home, however, I switch into the secret life I’ve had since I was five years old.
Analysis: By having the climax serve as a catchy hook, the writer ensures the reader stays to find the answer to their question, "What double life could she possibly have?". The writer immediately mentions the answer. They could have left the answer until the end, but by doing so, it leaves the reader wanting to know more.
Staring at the pile of papers on my desk, I reach to detach a sticky note from a calculus handout: “Create a flyer for the Humanitarian Club's book drive.” As I write the message down on my to-do list, I hear a knock on the door. “Les," my dad says. "There’s work for you downstairs.”
With these words, I automatically follow the familiar procedure: I put aside my homework, reach for my old pair of running shoes, spray on bug repellent, and head towards the garage. There, I see my father with a rag and bottle of spot remover in his hands. Silently, he hands them to me.
Analysis: This is a great example of mentioning a story to later elaborate on the big idea: the writer works with her father. By introducing this in the beginning, the writer can set the foundation so they could later mention the dilemma: they have a hard time balancing working with her parents and school.
Thus, the responsibilities of my two separate lives have piled up, which has made conflicts in my schedule inevitable. There were times where I had to abandon my homework to carry out a work order before a specific hour, which led to sleepless nights to finish schoolwork. Consequently, I realized I had to set my priorities straight: the business to create income, Humanitarian's Club to be my creative outlet, and academics to stay intellectually curious have to come first.
Recently, I dropped sports and minor clubs to make time for my job, homework, and college applications. By doing so, I can now spend more time applying to out-of-state universities, where I'd get to undergo new experiences and step out of my comfort zone. My ultimate goal is to live a life where opportunities, desires, and choices won't be limited due to my economic status anymore. Above all, I wish to bring forth a comfortable future for my disabled brother, where he’d finally have his own backyard to play in.
Analysis: The writer further elaborates on the problem and mentions what she did about it. While doing so, they reveal their thought process while trying to find a solution, which reveals that she cares about her family and works hard to build a better future for them.
So despite not having godlike super strength, I am using my talents to battle against the forces of low-wage jobs and meager opportunities to forge a new future for myself and my family.
Analysis: Although the reader has probably concluded this by now, the writer includes this part to extend the metaphor they've used in the beginning to tie everything together.
How to get your creativity flowing
Whether or not you have some idea on what to write about, consider doing the following to build a list of possible topics so you can later choose the best one.
Do some self-discovery
Ask yourself these questions:
What do you do when not involved in academic matters?
Think about the stuff you do during your time off, such as hobbies, family responsibilities, or what you are trying to learn. Examples could be coding, working with your parents, volunteering, a club, religious activities, etc.
What are some of your goals?
What do you value most in life?
Why do you work hard?
Why do you want to go to college?
What steps are you taking to achieve your goals?
Read other's essays
Reading essays online is a great way to get inspired and may even borrow some elements of an essay. However, do not go off and plagiarize an essay. Doing so will cause colleges to:
Revoke your admission retroactively, even after you graduate, and not refund a penny of your money.
Charge you with fraud if you have signed any honor pledge.
Put your name on a list where no one else will take you for a decade or so.
Do some writing exercises
Some that I recommend are from the CollegeEssayGuy, such as the Values exercise and Essence Objects Exercise. These are great if you had a hard time doing step 1.
How to save time and energy when it comes to writing
The best way to save your time and energy writing essays is to recycle them. Once you start more applications, you will soon realize that many writing prompts sound similar. All you will have to do is crop the old essay to fit the word count and change the college/ program name.
For example, Questbridge's prompt 1 is similar to Commonapp's prompt 1.
“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.” (600-word limit)
"We are interested in learning more about the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your successes. Please describe how the most influential factors and challenges in your life have shaped you into the person you are today." (800-word limit)
The Questbridge prompt is more elaborate, but you can easily take out some sentences to make it fit the Commonapp essay limit.
Most common mistakes to avoid
1. Recounting an event without mentioning how they felt.
Many students write a report about their lives without background or mention of what was running through their head.
2. Telling and not Showing
Without the showing part, your essay might sound boring and as if you are showing off. Convey your message through a story which is much more believable and reveals more about you.
For example, compare these two sentences:
I am smart.
I got an A+ on my English test.
The last one will speak volumes of how smart you are while acting as proof. Thus, it will be easy for others to believe that you are.
3. Leaving out figurative language
Figurative language makes writing more colorful and fun to read. Without it, your essay will sound bland and low grade. Try incorporating some figure of speech into your essays to seem sophisticated and stir emotion into your readers.
4. Writing about sports or anything classwork related
These two topics are fairly overused, so try not to incoperate them into your essays.
5. Not checking grammer
Use Grammarly to fix overlooked spelling and grammer mistakes.
How to get somone to revise your essays
Asking someone to revise your essays might seem nerve-wracking, but in reality, it isn't. There are a lot of people who are willing to help. All you have to do is look in the right places.
Ask a teacher
One of the best places to find someone is at your school. All the staff is there to support you academically, so it wouldn't be out of scope to ask them to edit your essays.
You could ask them in person or by email. If you were to ask through email, here's a reference you can use:
Hello Ms./Mr. ___,
I am applying to QuestBridge's College Prep Scholars Program, which gives finalists a full scholarship to a summer program hosted by top universities. The main reason I am doing so, though, is because College Prep Scholars are historically five times more likely than other applicants to become finalists in the National College Match - a college admission and scholarship process where finalists are admitted early to a top university with full four-year scholarships.
Would you be willing to help me once more in applying for scholarships? There are more than two weeks left to finalize everything, but I'd say I'm close to wrapping things up, but would like another set of eyes to review it before I do so.
Have a nice weekend!
Sincerely,
name
Ask a stranger
If you don't want people you know to read your essays, I suggest finding someone online instead. There are plenty of good-hearted people who are willing to edit your work. Some places you can find them are via Reddit (r/applying2college) or a discord chat.
I hope you enjoyed my longest post yet! These were all the things I learned while writing my college application essays. If you implement one or all of these when planning, I'm confident you will have a more enjoyable time in the next step: drafting your essays. Remember, planning before execution is critical!
Have any questions? Write them in the forum!
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